<em>SNL</em> Gets the Scariest Thing About Air Travel
· The Atlantic
For many travelers, flying has become an indignity to endure rather than an experience to enjoy. Seats are more cramped than ever; flight delays are becoming normalized; somehow, airlines have invented an even worse version of Economy. (Welcome to Basic!) Perhaps most unsettling, though, is the unpredictability of other people on board.
Videos of unhinged passengers attempting to open the plane door midair, fighting over reclining seats, shouting slurs, or otherwise disrupting flights have become routine viewing online. This fall, a first-class passenger on an American Airlines flight became violent; he was duct-taped to his seat while the plane made an emergency landing so he could be arrested. Social media tends to make extreme behavior seem more common than it is—although perhaps not in this case: FAA data show that the number of incidents involving unruly fliers has risen sharply since 2019.
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On last night’s Saturday Night Live, hosted by Inde Navarrette, a layered spoof imagined how a major airline might finally address the stubborn issue of problem passengers in a way that would still benefit its bottom line. In the sketch, a Delta spokesperson, played by Ashley Padilla, acknowledged that these incidents are ticking up. No traveler, she said, should have to deal with a volatile seat neighbor. Padilla then proposed a solution: Delta Disruptive, “a new section of the plane exclusively for crazy people,” available “on all domestic flights within Florida.” This new airline class, she promised brightly, would welcome fliers who refused to sit in their assigned seat, as well as those who insist on smoking, Disney adults who want to chug beers, and passengers yelling their theories about the Illuminati to the entire cabin.
Delta Disruptive, Padilla pledged, would provide a space for the “basic, inconsiderate a-hole” as well as the “paranoid lunatic” endangering everyone on board, with a four-inch-thick slab of plexiglass separating it from the rest of the plane. In one testimonial, a passenger played by Mikey Day approvingly noted that the section didn’t make him check his bag, which was clearly never going to fit in the overhead compartment. Scenes depicting growing anarchy showed one passenger rolling a joint and another insistent about licking the toes of a man clipping his toenails in his seat. But don’t worry, Padilla said: To ensure that nothing spun too out of control, the section would be staffed by the “toughest, gayest ex–Spirit Airlines employees who have seen much worse.” One flight attendant, played by Kenan Thompson, threw a man’s “comfort iguana” out of the plane after it wouldn’t stop biting people.
[Read: The only thing worse than Spirit Airlines]
The sketch animated the hellish experience of, say, sitting next to an inappropriate passenger who won’t stop yelling about shadow people. But its deeper and more cynical humor came from slyly hinting at how airlines have evaded recognizing their own complicity in the deterioration of the flying experience. Not that Padilla—whose brittle cheeriness clearly masked an exasperation lurking under the surface—acknowledged any of this. Rather, she saw the ongoing issue of unruly in-flight behavior as yet another opportunity to make a buck. “You see, Delta didn’t want to deal with the constant problems these passengers create, but we still wanted their money,” she confessed.
This moment of candor reflects the way that real-life air carriers squeeze money out of every possible scenario on board. On many airlines, even a modicum of comfort now comes at a premium—wanting to travel with a carry-on, for instance, or just drinking a glass of water—a circumstance that may be helping push travelers over the edge, especially as inequality in the air mirrors a sense of economic injustice on the ground. Earlier this year, The Wall Street Journal reported that airlines are reducing the size of economy cabins to make room for expensive lie-flat seats and rows with a few more inches of leg room, giving these companies still more opportunities to charge passengers extra. Additionally, soaring jet-fuel costs, exacerbated by the war with Iran, have caused airfare prices to spike an average of 23 percent since January, according to recent federal data.
[Read: Airlines are just banks now]
Even those who want nothing more than to reach their destination with zero frills may not be safe from price squeezes. A lawsuit filed earlier this year alleged that JetBlue gathered passenger data to set different prices for airfare based on personal information. Passengers who can’t trust their airline are less likely to trust anyone they encounter on their flights—including other passengers. It would take more than a plexiglass partition to solve that problem.