How to Get Your Butt Ready for Anal Sex
· Vice
Anal sex is one of the most highly searched sex terms on Google, yet if you let social stigma tell it, no one is putting things up their ass. With stigma comes a lack of education leaving you with a growing fear of tearing, shitting on your partner, and ending up in the ER. For example, did you know that there’s good pain and bad pain? Exactly. Preparation (as in, anal training) is essential for any pleasure back there. Here’s what you need to know in order to dabble in anal safely, while also learning what feels good for your body.
What Is ‘Anal Training’ Exactly?
Adult sexy toy anal plug on pink background with confetti. Top view, flat lay. Bright and festive.Anal training is the slow, intimate process of stretching your asshole to enjoy anal comfortably. Whether your goal is to have safe anal sex without tearing, or to have your first prostate orgasm, anal training can help with that.
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The process involves using anything from fingers to butt plugs and anal training kits with progressively larger plugs to help you open up. The best part? Anal training counts as foreplay as it’s getting your body ready for more, so the process can feel really good as you explore. Now, the goal here isn’t to achieve a gaping hole. Instead, think of anal training as practice for anal play. Your body may never like an orifice back there, or it may love it. I repeat, the goal is exploration.
how to prepare for anal sex
Best Lubes for Anal Sex
Your butt doesn’t get wet on its own, so it’s going to need the help of lube. Water-based lubricants are safe with all condom types (yes, even those non-latex condoms) and your silicone sex toys like silicone butt plugs. However, silicone-based lubricants are best for anal play as it’s thicker and lasts much longer. The thickness of silicone lube gives you a better slip back there, so penetration feels even better and doesn’t cause tearing. Silcone lube can also be used for any condom type, too.
By far, the go-to lubricant for anal play is Überlube’s silicone-based lubricant. It’s silky smooth, which not only gives you a good slip for each stroke, but it also just feels great sensory-wise. It’s the little things, ya know?
(opens in a new window) ÜberlubeÜberlube Silicone-Based Lube 55mL/1.86 fl oz (opens in a new window)
Available at Überlube Buy Now (opens in a new window) Available at Amazon Buy Now (opens in a new window)Überlube’s luxury silicone-based lube is a fav amongst every niche community for that very reason. Whether you’re a kinkster, cancer survivor suffering from dryness, or trying anal play for the first time (or all 3), you’ll love this. My favorite is that a little goes a looooong way. It looks sleek, feels sleek, and even has vitamin E, which makes me feel like I’m self-care-maxxxing while getting fucked. 10/10.
(opens in a new window) pjurpjur Back Door Silicone Anal Lubricant 3.4 fl oz (opens in a new window)
Available at Amazon Buy Now (opens in a new window) Available at Lovehoney Buy Now (opens in a new window)If you’re dabbling in anal fun that gets suuuuper kinky and rough, try pjur’s Back Door Silicone Lubricant or LubeLife’s 3X Anal Lube. It’s exactly as it sounds, a thick AF lube to give you as much slip back there as possible. This helps avoid tearing and minimizes that backdoor pain as much as possible.
(opens in a new window)3X Anal Lube (opens in a new window)
Available at Amazon Buy Now (opens in a new window)Best Anal Training Kits for Beginners
According to countless online reviews, the best anal training toy for beginners is going to be b-Vibe’s Rechargeable Anal Training and Education Butt Plug Set. It’s a 5-piece set that has everything from an anal douche/enema (to remove all poop residue internally) to a range of butt plug sizes. There are three in total alongside an anal douche, a lubricant applicator (told you it’s essential), and most importantly, a thorough guide to anal sex so you’re not scouring the web for answers in the bedroom.
(opens in a new window) b-vibeb-Vibe Rechargeable Anal Training and Education Butt Plug Set (5 Piece) (opens in a new window)
Available at Lovehoney Buy Now (opens in a new window)The guide to anal sex is perhaps the most important selling point IMO, because you get in-house sex therapy as you embark on your journey back there. I mean, having to worry about shitting on your partner during sex is stressful enough. You want to make sure you have everything on hand to avoid any mishaps. Shit, I would, too.
It is a bit pricier than other kits (about $20 more at minimum), but again, other brands are just throwing different-sized butt plugs at you while b-Vibe has legit tapped industry experts and anal lovers to get the real tea on what you need.
If you’re looking for a more affordable training kit, you can grab Adam & Eve’s Booty Boot Camp, which has 3 plug sizes. This only has the plugs in gradual sizing; however, unlike b-Vibe’s, which is a full kit of everything you’d need.
(opens in a new window)Adam & Eve Booty Boot Camp (opens in a new window)
Available at Adam & Eve Buy Now (opens in a new window)Alternatively, you can try a more affordable color-coded kit like Nsnovelties’ rainbow training kit that has three different-sized plugs to graduate from. Key products like lubricant and anal douche are not included, so you will have to buy those separately.
(opens in a new window)Rainbow Tapered Silicone Butt Plug Set (3-Piece) (opens in a new window)
Available at Lovehoney Buy Now (opens in a new window)What makes a good anal training kit?
Anal training kits come with a few must-haves that’ll help reduce your anxiety and keep you open back there. To start, it’ll have about 3 to 5 butt plugs that increase in size to get you acquainted with full penetration back there. This is so important, and we cannot stress this enough: each plug should have a flared base. Flared bases are the wide end of a butt plug – the end that doesn’t go in your butt. This prevents your ass from sucking up the plug and getting stuck up there. This is also why you shouldn’t use household items for anal play, because one-gasp and you’re going to need a doctor to surgically remove that shit from inside of you. You’re better off buying a discreet training kit and avoiding awkward human interaction overall.
Step-by-Step Guide to Anal Training
Step One: Start Smaller Than You Think
Think you can handle the medium-sized plug before trying the smallest size? That’s a recipe for disaster. Begin with a smaller size than you think you need to avoid any tearing. Keep in mind that there’s only so much protection lube can provide.
Step Two: Move at Your Own Pace
Never rush, especially not for a lover. Take your time and remember, your anatomy can be trained, but if you overdo it you will tear.
Step Three: Listen to Your Body
Are you feeling pressure or pain? Pressure can make you feel full back there, while pain can cause tearing, bleeding, and audible cries. If you witness any pain indicators, it’s time to take a break.
Is Anal Training Supposed to Hurt?
Anal sex is not supposed to hurt. Unlike vaginas, assholes unfortunately don’t get wet on their own. Spit and wetness from other areas can drip back there, making anal play feel less… invasive. But, it won’t feel as lubricated and slippery as a vagina or mouth would. This is why keeping lube on hand is a must, and truly nonnegotiable. (More on lube hacks later!)
You may feel fuller back there and feel yourself stretching, that’s pressure which is normal. Tearing, sharp pains, or any loud ow’s are a no-go as that’s a clear sign of pain. Remember, pain is a sign something is wrong. Case in point: skipping anal training and trying to stuff a dick back there is going to give you tiny little tears at the entry of, and potentially inside, your anus. Take this from personal experience: rushing the process will hurt so bad you won’t be able to shit until the tears heal. So, don’t rush anal sex. You won’t even enjoy it if you do.
Pain is also a sign to size down. Partner’s dick stimulating pain back there? Massage the area and next time, choose a toy that’s smaller. If you have an anal training kit like Adam & Eve’s Booty Boot Camp, this is the moment to choose the plug that’s smaller than the painful orifice.
(opens in a new window)Adam & Eve Booty Boot Camp (opens in a new window)
Available at Adam & Eve Buy Now (opens in a new window)Some people opt for numbing creams to help with the stretching pain, but that’s not the wisest move, tbh. Pain is an important cue; it lets you know something isn’t quite right. Ignoring that cue could lead to serious health issues, which isn’t ideal because, well, your ass isn’t only for orgasming.
And yes, there is a chance you might bleed, as Healthline reported. A little blood is natural, but anything more than a few drops is a clear sign to stop immediately and use more lube next time.
The Most Embarrassing Questions About anal training Answered
What is “painting”?
Painting a queer term referring to the act of human waste residue on the penetrator’s dick. Because the penetrator is in someone’s ass, it’s bound to happen. This is why people use enemas and douches to keep their butt spotless for sex.
Can I use spit instead of lube?
Yes, but with caution. Using spit won’t prevent tearing or provide much slip given that the butt doesn’t lubricate itself. So, lubricant is your safest and most comfortable bet.
Is bleeding normal?
Bleeding during anal sex is never something you should ignore, though it isn’t always a medical emergency. A small amount of bright red blood can result from minor tears or friction and often resolves on its own with rest, but it may still signal that the tissue has been injured. Heavy bleeding, persistent bleeding, severe pain, dizziness, or bleeding accompanied by swelling or fever warrants immediate medical attention. Even mild bleeding that recurs or doesn’t stop should be evaluated by a healthcare provider to rule out fissures, hemorrhoids, infections, or more serious injuries. When in doubt, consult your physician or head to urgent care.
The Bottom Line
Anal sex can be intimidating, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your desires. From anal training kits to lubricants, there’s an entire world of sex educators and products that want to help you enjoy anal as much as possible. Just remember, it’s not a race, and rushing anal training can have serious, painful consequences. Lean into what feels good and never ignore your body’s cues.
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